This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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