Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
