You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize