a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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