I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize