He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
