i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
