did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
