SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
