I just made out with a guy for $7.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
