Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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