I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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