i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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