She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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