Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
