Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We are all done wearing pants today
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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