So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
