this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
