my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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