Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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