If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I am one with the molecules
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
