she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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