someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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