I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
