yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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