I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
After tacos, we're chasing women.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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