You just made me feel so damn special
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize