dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
