she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
