I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
