I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
