check it out our google latitudes are spooning
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
