either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize