i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
