So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
