SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
