Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
