New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
