All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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