Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
