im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize