I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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