I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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