It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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