I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
soo... how was my night?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
