WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Randomize
