Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
