Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
