It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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