So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
