Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
