Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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