Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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