I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm always down for nudity.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
