Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
