Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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