Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
