You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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