Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
