Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
