I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
now i know why i became what i already was.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
