Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
